


Want

by constellate



Category: All For the Game - Nora Sakavic
Genre: Canon-Typical Violence, M/M, Raven!Neil
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-20
Updated: 2016-05-20
Packaged: 2018-06-09 14:32:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,214
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6911083
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/constellate/pseuds/constellate
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"It is enough, you think, to have wanted and moved on. You content yourself with what you have.<br/>And then Riko smashes Kevin's hand, and Kevin runs to the Foxes of all people and everything basically goes to shit."</p><p>Nathaniel Wesninski has spent the last eight years raised as a raven in the nest. He wants out.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Want

It starts with a number - three broad strokes etched into your cheek. You are far too young for a tattoo but you are Riko's now, and when has Riko ever listened to the law? He will wear his Moriyama badge of status to the grave. The tattoo hurts, but not as much as the beating you get afterwards. Apparently the pain blurred your judgement and you cried out. Riko doesn't like noise.

One year later Jean joins your line up, number four on the perfect court. You think to warn him of Riko's hatred but something makes you think twice. It will be better for Jean if he realises what he's in for straight away. When Riko takes out the knives as punishment for Jean's pain, you pretend that the sickening sight of his blood on the floor tiles doesn't affect you.

(It's something that you keep pretending for years. It never becomes a truth.)

* * *

 

You are a backliner - Nathaniel Wesninski, number three. You have a position on the US court if you play your cards right, if you make it through all of this. You are defence, footwork and eyesight, keeping the others on their toes. You used to watch the strikers and want, want, want. Their speed, the way they have the ability to make or brake a game.

You are a backliner. You don't want anymore.

So instead you survive. You survive Riko's knives, you survive your parents' visits, you survive the hits you take for jean because the number on your face says three and the number on his face says four and his mistakes are your mistakes. You survive.

You are wary of Riko in the same way you are wary of a feral dog. He might seem tame right now but he could turn nasty any second and wouldn't think twice about gutting you. Luckily for you, he is always more concerned with Kevin. You would worry more, care more, if you didn't have to look out for Jean. You cannot risk Riko's wrath turning to him in some sick revenge for your own misguided actions. You must always protect Jean.

Jean, who is older than you yet is so much more hopeless - the only thing he wants from you is the one thing you are desperately trying to prevent. You have had to bring him back from the brink of death five times already. You used to want him, want his french accent and his morning breath, his scathing humour and the way he honestly believes in you, that you could make it out of this shithole unscathed. You want to topple him, to drag him down to your level. You want him to ascend to heaven where monsters like you and Riko are barely thoughts. You've squashed that urge now. He sees you as his partner, his pair. His Riko-Mandated jailor.

You know other pairs that have made it work but every time you try to tell him you think of the hurt you know you'll see in his eyes. Riko has had terrible things done to Jean Moreau and you will not associate yourself with them anymore than you have to. It is enough, you think, to have wanted and moved on. You content yourself with what you have.

And then Riko smashes Kevin's hand, and Kevin runs to the Foxes of all people and everything basically goes to shit.

You don't blame Kevin at all, you think as you take the brunt of Riko's rage. If he'd broken your hand, your dreams, your future - well. You'd probably have ran too. Maybe. If you had somewhere to run to. If you didn't have Jean. Then again, maybe not. As far as you see it, Kevin is just running sideways. He's not getting anywhere. You will not do the same. That is the last thought you have before Riko drags a blunt blade along your abdomen and you black out.

* * *

 

It's funny, Jean is saying when you stumble back into consciousness, how you're the one that's always pacing, always on your toes and looking for the exit. And yet Kevin was the one who left.

You look at the clock and tell him to hurry up with your stitches. Practice starts in an hour.

* * *

 

When Kevin starts playing again, everyone in the nest can feel the tension. You know what is coming. You can already picture what he will do to you, and you have stocked up on painkillers and bandages. He can skin you. He can burn you. He can beat you to a pulp. You will survive this - you can survive anything.

And yet the beating goes to Jean. This has never happened before. Jean has had all the skin from the back of his thigh burn until the flesh underneath was bubbling but never has he been hurt in place of you. It's usually the other way around, the numbers on your faces clearly dictating who is supposed to bare the brunt of Riko's abuse.

You do not understand why, this time, Riko went for Jean. That is, at least until Riko shoves Jeans phone under your nose. The call log is open.

There are the calls to you and to some of the other Ravens but the thing that sticks out the most is seventeen or so calls to Kevin made in the last two weeks. You do not know how Jean could have been so careless, and you tell yourself that the prickly feeling in your gut is anger at his stupidity and not hurt. Hurt that Kevin chose to stay in touch with Jean and not you, hurt that Jean, your Raven twin, didn't breathe a word of this. You don't know how he managed to find the time to talk to Kevin without you finding out.

You don't mention it later that night, when you end up using all your supplies on Jean.

* * *

 

You know what they say about you behind your back. Ravens are private by necessity rather than nature, but can only keep a secret for so long. They think that you are completely under Riko's thumb; a plaything with little will of your own. You have heard them throw around the words "Stockholm Syndrome", and "Asskisser".

As if any of them have any idea of what you've had to go through to get this far. Not even Jean has lived through all that you have, for that first year was hell. Only Kevin could say he understands and he's gone now. Besides, Riko never really wanted to hurt Kevin. He barely ever touched him physically. Until the hand breaking incident.

But the point is, you know what they say of you. You also know that they're all idiots. You hate Riko with every functioning cell in your body. You hate him like you hate your father, like you hate yourself on the worst days. And yet you know that you wont be Riko's property forever.

You'll sign with the US court. You'll make it out. Leave Riko to his nest and Kevin to his Den, you are more of an animal than either of them and you shall have a palace.

You think about that as you lay awake at night and you want, want, want.

**Author's Note:**

> So I am 100% an Andreil shipper, but idk - I think it would be hard to spend pretty much all your time with someone through puberty and not develop some sort of feelings, whatever they may be.


End file.
